it's how you spin it

Even though I woke up this morning to Phil telling me that Fish had shit and pissed all over the floor instead of in her new toilet training litter box, today is going to be a good day. I've somehow managed to clean all of that up, take a shower, do some chores, and now I'm eating a totally awesome breakfast of oatmeal and coffee.

Phil leaves tomorrow but I'm in a much better place this week to handle it. I'm super sad, and even though I'm trying really hard not to, I will probably cry. It's only 3 weeks, and once I look back on this, I'll feel so silly for even worrying about it. I'm even beginning to feel that way now. I knew that dating a super cool dude in the navy would really suck sometimes... but he's just so awesome I'm willing to put up with it. Not to mention, 3 weeks is nothing. NOTHING. Just a wee little vacation almost.

Thing usually start to fall into perspective when I stop thinking so selfishly. Thousands or more people go without seeing their significant other due to work ALL THE TIME. I am totally not alone with what I'm feeling. Even the fact that I'm in a new city where I have no job or friends or family. There are so many people who deal with this and they are totally fine. And I'm going to be fine.

Put out into the universe positive thoughts and intentions, and it will return it ten fold. Just don't be afraid to take what the universe gives you: good or bad.

tired: again

I move through waves of depression and elation. I get motivated to try new things and work hard and then I feel a tug on my sleeve and there's a little demon next to me. He says: "Psst... Hey, you can't do that. Too many people are already successful at that. You aren't as good as they are. Go back to doing nothing, you don't have anything to lose then." And today I listened. And today I almost cried at Starbucks while trying to open an Etsy store. My second Etsy store, because the first one failed because I listened to the demon then, too. I kept trying to tell it to shut up... I am a good designer and a strong person and I have many a hardship currently and ahead of me too, but it doesn't mean I can't do this.

I'm totally unemployed except for some freelance work that is proving to be extremely unreliable when, at the beginning, seemed to be something I could count on for cash. Why leave the house?

I'm totally alone in a new city, 3000 miles away from my family and friends. My boyfriend is leaving in a week for a training exercise and he'll be gone for a month. Today it hit me how hard it will be while he's gone. For the past few days, I kept thinking about that month, knowing it would be hard but also knowing I could handle it. Today, the demon tapped me on the shoulder and said, "You are utterly alone. You've never done this before. You can't handle this by yourself. Do you realize how long a MONTH is? 4 weeks! 33 days! You have to be ALONE for that long. At 4 when he's supposed to come home, he won't. You'll sleep ALONE in your bed. There will be NO ONE to kill spiders."

Today was a total failure on the mental health front.
I hope tomorrow will be better.

quarter century celebration

I celebrated my 25th birthday on Saturday, the 7th. It was better than the past few birthdays I've had, and I think it helped that I tried to put as little expectations into it as I could. Usually I get all excited and end up getting let down... no one wants to hang out, plans fall through, football games get in the way, etc. The Saints play-off game only prevented one friend from attending my birthday dinner this time, although I still would never see any sort of sports engagement more important than celebrating a friend's birthday, but that's just me I guess.










We started the day at TatoNut, a local doughnut shop in Ocean Springs that has amazing doughnuts; totally worth waiting in line 30 (!) minutes for. I opened some presents from Chris, which included the Fashion Cats book, an adorable acrylic anchor necklace, and some super cute vintage shoes I've had my eye on! He did so good! Not to mention, he got me some flowers, some Ben & Jerry's, and he even brought candles with him to dinner! I had no idea! I'm so lucky to have him!




My parents came to town from Mobile to eat lunch, give me some more presents, and shop for frames for my photography for my very first real art show on Friday. They also brought me some cupcakes from Twist, my favorite cupcake place! All-in-all, I'd say it was a pretty good birthday. I even found an excuse to bust out my Grandma's fur stole!








mink fur stole, rings: vintage from my grandma
skirt, necklace, bangles: forever 21
shirt: gap
tights: marshalls
heels: betsey johnson from ruche

quick

SO. I ended up not feeling much like an outfit post yesterday. My outfit wasn't all that great anyway. Well... it was alright. Not one of my best, but nice enough. And while I didn't get a legitimate photoshoot, I did take a cellphone pic as a preview of sorts.



I wore a bluish, leopard-print cardi and a black dress from Forever 21, and some black Urban Outfitters flats. The locket is a hand-me-down from my grandmother, and it even has a picture of my dad's uncle and cousin in military garb from way back when! It's pretty cool, I love learning about family histories!

In other news, Christopher got a real job! I'm so proud of him! He now works for a printing/design company in Mississippi! He finally gets a steady paycheck and a steady schedule! The only downside, it's an hour and fifteen minutes away from Mobile :[. Which means he'll be commuting that much everyday and will eventually move back in with his parents to save on rent and gas. I guess with good comes bad, but I'm so happy for him overall. It'll really work out for the best, and once he's able to save some money, hopefully we'll be able to move to Atlanta in a year or so! EEE!

The holidays are fast approaching and I can't wait! I love cold weather and cold weather activities! Not to mention cold weather fashion! I'm going try to try to do all of my Christmas shopping this year from etsy. I think it'll be challenge (especially for my little bro, he is so hard to shop for! he might end up just getting presents for his new puppy instead! hehe) but ultimately satisfying and rewarding. Talk about unique gifts! I've got to start shopping soon!