the helm: restoration

I haven't been very good at blogging 3 times a week, but at least I'm still clocking in at once a week! I really don't have an excuse except for the fact that I've been feeling a little fat and blah lately, and so I don't feel like have my picture taken. And honestly, I haven't had much going on to blog about! Except for my first ever art show this past Friday! So that's kind of a big deal.






(In case you're wondering, that's me! So not only did I have work in the show, I was also a model of sorts!)



(That's my friend/coworker, Jerika, and some of her friends, all modeling more of her gorgeous hats!)


(Doing our "serious artist" face)



(Posing in front of my photos! They were all taken & edited with my iPhone!)


(Me with my fellow-photog-friend, Alan)


(Me and my BFF-artist-in-crime, Riley. He was the one who put the WHOLE thing together! And he also did the portrait of me from above. There were portraits of each artist in the show that lined the walls, all connected with quotes of inspiration and yarn! So creative)


(My friend, Cynthia. She was a huge help to Riley putting The Helm together. She's also an awesome photographer!)


(Christopher! ♥ he was such a good holder-of-things-that-wouldn't-fit-in-my-pockets-b/c-I-refused-to-carry-my-purse and a good photo-taker and all-around good sport for the night!)



(the beautiful, Michelle, another BFF)





(We then went to the Alabama Music Box after we ate dinner @ Hopjack's, and watched Givers play!)





All-in-all, it was a really great night. I hung out with a lot of people that I don't get to see very often, and it felt really good to see everyone come and support me and the other artists in the show. I get really lonely over here where my only friends are coworkers and Chris. And even then, Jerika is really the only one I feel like I can really count on for friendship at the moment. None of my other coworkers came to my show! Even though they told me they would... I feel let down because it seems like something that meant so much to me didn't mean anything to them, but I know I shouldn't put that much thought into it. It hurts but it just goes to show that your true friends show up for you when you need them most, and the others can't be called more that close acquaintances. It's so frustrating sometimes to think that you're making head-way with new friends only to be let down. I just want to make some more friends that I can count on! But I still can't forget the friends that DID show up, and for that, I couldn't be more grateful.

Anyway, I wish I'd taken some more outfit shots, but really, you're only missing the shoes. Wait, the shoes are almost always the most important part! So for that, I'm sorry you're missing the shoes, because trust, they are FINE. And quite possibly my new favs. I'll make it up to you this week I swear!

♥


top: urban outfitters
skirt/shoes: target
necklace: gift from Chris
tights: tj maxx
coat/ring: forever 21

delicious

Saturday was my dad's birthday, so Chris and I went to Mobile for the day. I brought along this cake, which I spent alllll Friday night baking. I even got to whip out the Kitchenaid mixer I got for Christmas last year! I hardly ever get to use it, especially in our small apartment. I searched for a recipe that I knew my dad would love, and finding nothing exactly what I wanted, I combined two recipes. I used this one for the cake, and this one for the praline-crusty-goodness. I just used a good ole' store-bought cream cheese frosting... I know, I cheated. Shame. Anyway, the result was what I have so lovingly dubbed, a Brown Sugar Praline Upside-down Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting. Quite a mouth full, right? Wait until you taste it! Oh my, it's all sorts of sinful. I wish my dad loved pumpkin as much as I do so I could've made the Praline Pumpkin Cake as it was written, but I guess that just means I'll have another excuse to bake something pumpkin! I have a problem, I know, but it's only a few months of the year, so it's okay.

friends? who?

I really probably shouldn't even blog about this.

The more I read updates from my "friends" in Mobile on twitter and facebook, the more depressed I get about not having any friends. And, yea, that's totally an overstatement. I do have friends, I do have people I can talk to and such, but it just kills me that people I once considered my friends don't even check in on me. Ever. And I'm always torn with the idea that... am I the one supposed to be calling/texting them? Letting them know I'm thinking about them? I just feel that it should be the other way around. Am I crazy? Is that self-centered? I really don't know anymore.

All I want is a text now-and-then saying, "Hey, X happened, it made me think of you." But instead I just barely got birthday wishes from these people. It's like I'm taking their updates personally. Like, I'm supposed to feel like I was never a vital part of any of those people's lives, and that their doing absolutely fine without me... like I was never there. Like, "look at us, we're having so much fun, we could give two shits if you left or if you ever came back."

I understand I don't live in Mobile anymore. BUT I ONLY LIVE 1 HOUR AWAY. I would be a lot more understanding if I'd moved to California or something. Why is it that no one cares? Not even enough for a little "hi" once in a while. Of course everything is going to keep going now that I've left. But things had already continued like I'd already left even before I knew I was leaving.

What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to feel hurt by this? Am I supposed to ignore it, and when I see these people again, act happy to see them, like they actually missed me? Am I supposed to forget about them, make new friends, live my life like I never knew them? Am I supposed to be the one trying to salvage the friendship, since it seems that I'm the only one who cares?

God, I miss my "friends" so much...

azaleas

One thing I do miss about Mobile is the azaleas. I've seen a few here and there in Biloxi, but not nearly as beautiful as these in front of my parent's old house (that's them in the photo). There's a reason Mobile is also known as Azalea City, and why we have the Azalea Trail run every year.