Friday, May 15, 2009

total confidence

I've figured out that confidence comes not from whether or not you're skinny, attractive, funny, smart or polite, but from the people that surround you. This is not to say that the lack of self-confidence can be solely attributed to the perons who interact with you everyday, completely removing the blame from yourself, but instead it appears to be a culmination of the two. It is: the way people react to you, and the way you, in turn, react to their reaction of you. Because, you only know yourself from the way others know you. How do you know you're funny? Because people tell you that you make them laugh. How else could you make that assumption? If you were alone, you would never know you were funny. But, then again, if you were alone, you would never know what humor was... or even care? But that's an entirely different set of tracks aboard the hypothetical train of thought. I do believe. I digress... I have met many a person in my 22 years that can consistently bring to mind this question: "how do they have so much confidence, and yet, if I were them, I wouldn't the slightest ounce of self esteem? how do they do it?" 'Tis a question I constantly attempt to answer, with this entry coming the closest to make the most sense to my ever toiling imagination. And yet, this idea of how to obtain this 'confidence' still eludes me. Will it always? We shall see.