Sunday, September 28, 2014

basically, #sorrynotsorry

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I felt like I needed to get this out on something a little more solid than just thoughts running through my head. Last week, I was called "basic" by someone I barely know, and for some reason it really got to me. Despite the fact that I don't care about this person or how they think about me, I couldn't help but obsess over what a misogynistic comment it was. More importantly, all that thinking lead to overthinking, overanalyzing and otherwise giving this way too much of my head space. Where I ended up, however, is here confronting the difficulty I have NOT caring what people think about me. To my credit, I have gotten admirably better than I was in previous years, but I still struggle with it. Therefore, this is a list I will continue to update about things I am not sorry about:

— liking all things pumpkin
— loving cats
— listening to Coheed & Cambria
— calling myself a feminist
— not going out every Friday/Saturday night
— reading for fun
— dying my hair crazy colors
— having tattoos (and getting more)
— not eating much meat/dabbling in veganism
— liking vegetables
— liking tofu
— not being sure if I'm deist, agnostic or atheist
— liking college football
— leaving work on time if I'm done
— taking adequate work breaks
— my sense of style
— not shaving my vag pornstar-pre-pubescent-bald (TMI? not sorry)
— wearing leggings as pants
— not liking babies
— being chubby
— having cellulite
— not liking avocado
— posting regularly on pinterest/tumblr/facebook/instagram
— hashtagging my posts for likes/interaction/follows
— requiring payment for freelance design
— being angry when I feel it
— being sad when I feel it
— liking true crime TV shows
— liking paranormal TV shows
— laughing at farts and butts and poop
— my past
— cursing
— wanting a promotion
— being white
— being a woman
— getting rid of toxic friends
— having ultimate goals that differ from getting married and having kids

What are you not sorry about? What are you tired of apologizing for, whether inward to yourself or outward to others? If I feasibly could, I would tattoo this list on me somewhere so I could read it everyday. It's going to be a real feat for me to stop caring what other people think, but I'll slowly get there, goddamnit.