Thursday, November 11, 2010
if one door closes...
My office-mate, Laurie, and I were called into my CEO's office today with the CEO, COO, and the head of print production of the "ad agency" that I work for. I was handed an ad I did earlier that morning with red pen marks all over it, indicating the errors I had made. Most of the glaring errors where price discrepancies while the rest were stupid, cosmetic and totally unnecessary. The CEO told me all that I had done wrong, completely overwhelming me and catching me off guard. The way we work is, Laurie and I do the ads, and another coworker (my supervisor of sorts) is then supposed to proofread the ad, tell me my mistakes, which I fix, and give to the production department to proof again, who then sends the ad to Nikon, who gives a final proof before it's printed. The ad that was shown to me had made it all the way to production with all the errors I had made. No one ever came to me to tell me that I had made a mistake, like they're supposed to. Instead, I was completely caught off guard and I broke down in tears as I tried to stand up for myself and explain why I made the mistakes and felt like I just wanted to crawl under a rock. It was awful. Laurie just sat there silently while I pleaded my case. I couldn't believe it. My supervisor is what I considered once of my best friends at this job, and instead of coming to me, telling me I made a mistake (like what's in her JOB to do, and what also would be FRIENDLY of her to do) she instead just got me in trouble. In such trouble that it involved all three of those higher-ups I mentioned in the beginning. I feel, "thrown under the bus," as a contestant on a Brave reality tv show might say. I was, and still am, so upset. This didn't have to happen. I didn't have to get called out, but I was and I cried and felt like the stupid little crying girl who can't take any criticism.
It hurts. I feel betrayed. And all this when I was just starting to come to terms with my job and the fact that it was boring but that I was getting paid well and it really wasn't that bad. Oh man. I hope I don't get fired. I just bought this laptop and still need to pay it off. I don't know what I'm going to do. Laurie had to stay in the meeting once I left, and they gave her the same treatment. She has a strong feeling she's going to be fired. After 10+ years. I don't even know what I'm going to do if they fire her! She's my office-mate! I'll be all alone in that little room... unless they put someone else in there with me. Please God no. At least let me sulk and pout alone in my office. And I really hope they don't put my supervisor (the one who caused all this) in there with me. I'd die.
I already wanted to leave Mobile, get a more creative job and finally live a life I want to live... but I really wasn't planning on pursuing that until after the holidays. But the way things are looking now... I dunno. I'm worried about all this going down right before the holidays, before my laptop is paid off, before I've saved the money I wanted to save... but as long as I can stay for the holidays, I don't care after that. I don't think they'll fire me per say, but I definitely don't put it past them to "encourage me to quit."
With all that said, at least the sky was pretty on my drive home. And since I was so upset, I decided not to make an outfit post, although I did dress extra cute today. After crying all my makeup off, I just wasn't in the mood. I'm gonna make it through this though, I have no doubt about that. I already have some ideas! Onward and upward!
posted by Carol Anne Solberger at 11/11/2010 07:41:00 PM